Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
