You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
