Heybabeimwearingurpanties
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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