I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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