I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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