im having a threesome with these popsicles
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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