we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
