she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
