I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize