i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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