Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I think my vagina is haunted
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
