Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
