I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
