This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
