My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize