Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
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