she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize