he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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