Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
