Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
