:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Im part way to drunk.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
