So drunk its hurt
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
