So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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