you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
