he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
