im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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