i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
