I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Sorry my hands just texted you
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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