Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
