I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Also, beer. Big fan.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
