I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
