C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
