If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
