we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
