And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
