A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
