Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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