Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
