In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
