So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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