it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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