I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
