All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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