their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
