Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
