i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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