If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Randomize
