I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
