Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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