Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
