How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
