She went from zero to smokin in five shots
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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