Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Houston, we have a squirter
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
