Christians are straight up FREAKS
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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