your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
