also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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