I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
