I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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