I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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