break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
