i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
