im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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